The glue that binds us together

February 26th, 2010 I made a big decision.  It was kind of a no brainer as I look back, but nonetheless, life changing.  I made me appreciate the relationships I had more so than I ever had before.  And it is important to note that I did what was not expected of me.  Uncharacteristic for someone who has lived a life so well planned. 

As we celebrate Thanksgiving it has made me ponder the meaning of this word.  It is a verb.  It is an event.  It is just not a day marked on a calendar.  As I celebrated in a small, somewhat uneventful way with my family, I noticed how truly blessed I have become.  A new career, a new home, loving family, supporting friends what more could a girl ask for.  My day has changed from the moment I awake, not dreading the day to the food I choose to put in my body.  It has made me take this word of Thanks and put it into every part of my life. 

I have lost the blogging bug for a bit as I moved into these new transitional roles.  However, I still realized that the message is important.  Life is a verb. 

Thanksgiving as a verb rather than a meal.  This has made the gluten free Thanksgiving transition feel seamless.  No pie, no stuffing, no dinner rolls but it's been okay.  My parents have been great.  And though my pants size has grown, I don't necessarily blame my mother. 

Experimenting with differently flours has me back to the same conclusion that, yes gluten- is the glue in breads and rolls and the like, most others the texture is just off.   And I have indulged in the pre-packaged goods of gluten free.  And I will go ahead and just say it in print, it is not great.  It's a good substitution in desperation but it's just not the real thing.  Things that are  naturally delicious and gluten free I am in favor of and loving them more. 
This is what I spent my money on to try to substitute wonderful dinner rolls.  They're okay.  Maybe not worth $6.00.  You bake them for about ten minutes and then come out just as dry as they went into the oven.  They're okay smothered in butter- but for sure I couldn't stomach the whole thing. 

More to come...

"Hello, my name is Dick, I'll be your waiter tonight"

After a hectic week I decided a little quality time with my good friend was in order.  We spent most of the day outside (my favorite).  We discussed where to go to dinner, tossing around ideas.  She knows that I am a little more selective.  I mentioned that I heard Olive Garden had a gluten free menu. 

So we go, and it's packed.  We're lucky to get a table quickly.  That's where we meet Dick, our waiter.  He gives us our menu, I don't see a special section, so I ask for the gluten free menu.  One the menu are four choices, no prices.  I scan the regular menu.  I find something that looks like the picture above.  The only thing that could possibly have gluten is it, is the Venetian Apricot sauce.  So I start asking questions, which my waiter said things like "well it's not on the gluten free menu"  and I would counter with "what are the ingredients of the sauce!" Clearly at this point I have identified that this looks to be the most appetizing.  Needless to say I did get it, without the sauce.  But before my meal came, I was served this salad

Yes those are croutons you see.  The thing about it, is that the waiter acted overly interested and overly professional.  He also continued to ask me to gluten myself....what a tricky guy.

I picked croutons out with care.  But you would have assumed...

Needless to say, being a celiac and eating at a place life olive garden where the bread sticks are endless is like window shopping in Paris with no money.  It's a huge tease.  Bordering on not worth t.  Sorry Olive Garden, I give you a rating of one star.

I also made peanut butter cookies this week.  I reduced the amount, because who am I kidding, I live alone.  I used one cup peanut butter, one cup sugar, 2 eggs and 1 tablespoon vanilla (I halved that amount) Easy easy.  And really moist.  That looks like just peanut butter but trust me this is mixed.  I did do some research on the calories of this, it wasn't pretty.  Let's just say we'll be doing some cardio because of this little indulgence.

Oh!   I forgot to mention that I added dark chocolate .  Mostly because I had them and I recently read that dark chocolate makes you smarter or something (okay I skimmed the article).

I wanted to talk a minute about a resource I found http://www.livingwithout.com/.  It has lots of ideas.  I will also say that the name is misleading.  I actually scoffed when I first found it, "like hell I'll be 'living without'".  And I will also say that because I am actually digesting food properly, eating has become a favorite past time. No more feeling sick after eating!  I have noticed what has become a little bit of a bulge around the midsection...so I need to find the balance of life.  I think balance is what we all seek; more than happiness, love or wealth. Without a balance the ride just isn't worth it.

ROMEO!

This week has been a tough one, for many reasons that my close friends know well.  There has been so much that I have wanted to say, but as I sit and type my humor is not flowing through my fingers.  So this is going to be my shakespear inspired blog this week.  Little did you know, I'm a fan.  Mostly because my teachers along the way forced me to be.  But now, I guess  I'm well read.

All that glitters is not gold- The merchant of Venice
There have been many instances that I have had the option to pick the more appealing route, or the easier one.  Of cource looking back a later, it wasn't really worth it.  I passed up a job offer last week because I knew in the end, it just wasn't going to be gold.  Divine intervention put me where I needed to be.

What a piece of work is a man...-Hamlet

 We inspire, dream, wish, and hope.  Doctor's practice medicine, meaning they haven't gotten it right yet.  Celiac's disease!  Wowza.  You thought this magnificent piece of work would be able to take a bit of wheat...nope.  And now I'm bedside with someone who has no definitive diagnosis.  What a wonderous piece of work "man" is. 

Such stuff as dreams are made on- The Tempest
I have always been a glass half full kind of girl.  Sometimes bordering on a dreamer.  Never would I believe something bad would happen, nor do I look at the end of things.  Even in personality I like the parts of projects, the workings of them.  I don't really see the end, more wrapped up in details ( you should see me cook, I'm a mess).  But often times you get at the end and wonder just how you got there.  I think sometimes life is like that.  More so, looking at this new food I have embarked upon I must say, thank you to the companies for making such Delicious food.  Here's where I start to ramble...

Because of the busy week I've been forced to look for on the go gluten free food.  Here's what I've got...

Okay, both of these items I picked up in a rush.  Don't worry, I did not starve because of my busy life, nor did I go to the dark side and gluten myself.  As of now I don't think I am so sensitive to not eat food off a plate that also has wheat products.  I was able to eat trays of food, and pick around.  And then, there is always the stand by: They have hilarious jokes, and they are naturally gluten free (okay they're full of not natural things).  I love laffy taffy so much, that I would make it my romeo if I could. 

Squeeze those close to you.   Thank God for all you have because one day you may wake up, and things will never go back to the way it was.

Things I have loved and lost

In my life there have been many loves; pizza, baklava, doughnuts, Twinkies, and dumplings just to  name a few.  The day that I found out I have Celiac Spur was the day I parted ways with some of my most beloved.

I was out a few nights ago at our local Kelly's and I could smell Joe's pizza in the back taunting me with all his cheese.  I was with a few others who had hear its calling.  So I encouraged them to get some pizza, and I picked the toppings off.  I have not been brave enough to go to a gluten free pizza shop, yet.

So, I'm working part time some odd hours, 3 pm to 11 pm.  Last night I realized I needed to pick up some groceries.  So at midnight I found myself at Sunfresh, which I ran into some booze smelling friends out for some homemade munchies.  When I was unloading my few bags I thought back to my love, pizza.  We had fond memories together, Pizza was there for me during college and had also attended most of my social events growing up. 

I remembered that I had gone on a gluten free shopping spree just a few days after I was diagnosed (more dangerous to your pocket book then being let loose in the coach outlet store).  I had picked up a dough mix.  That all brought me to the realization I had all the makings for a pizza!

So I got chebes dough mix out and gave her a whirl.  I followed the directions closely, because this was uncharted territory.  They have you mix things in a tablespoon at a time.  So two tablespoons of oil, four of milk and two eggs later I had what almost looked like normal dough.  I did have to work with it a bit.  As you can see some the picture it was rather lumpy. 

Sorry it's sideways, my tech person was out this morning and couldn't fix it...

I used this arrowroot flour to knead the dough with.  The directions didn't say to, but I don't know who they thought could knead all those lumps.  Side note, I do not own a rolling pen and after further investigation, I'm not sure where I would put one.  In later entries I may take pictures of my sheik galley kitchen (aka no space kitchen).

I used toppings I already had (recognize the spinach I ranted about before)!  So it ended up being just a tomato, cheese and spinach pizza.  It baked pretty well in the oven with the usual suspects of problems in cooking dough involve, getting it cooked in the middle.

So this is what it looks like after!  I only used a portion of the dough I made up and froze the rest for a later enjoyment.  This is about one third of the dough from the package.

I forgot to show you a picture of the package in case you are looking for it in stores!  This is what it looks like. 

One thing I was a little disappointed with was the rate at which the dough rose.  I'm a big believer that crust is just a vehicle to get toppings in your mouth.  This seemed more bread like.  Although it was absolutely wonderful.  It's not all about what you loved and lost, but what great things that will come along and make you feel good while you enjoy its company.

Single Cooking

Celiacs is treating me well!  I feel amazing.  I had some fears about traveling and staying at people's homes.  So far, my fears have been silly and I really can't imagine that I was ever worried.

About two weeks ago, I traveled to San Fransisco for a friend's wedding.  The snacks on the plane weren't safe for me, so on my lay over I headed to a made to order burger joint.  I ate a burger with no bun and fries.  Unfortunately, the fries were contaminated with something and mid flight I realized I had been glutened, WHOOPS.

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Winery with Friends before the wedding, Russian River Valley.

Cocktails before Dinner.  Beautiful.

At her BEAUTIFUL wedding, the ordure's during cocktail hour looked amazing.  I couldn't have any of it, and I really hadn't planned for that.  Instead, I ended up drinking another glass of wine.  Dinner was great, it was gluten free and amazing.  Unfortunately, the desert was not friendly for me.  Each table had a different cake and people were so excited.  I couldn't have it, so I had another glass of wine...you can tell how the night ended up.  I was so glad to be part of such a wonderful event.  Really, to witness two people that in love was so special. 

I had a follow up appointment with my Doctor before I left for my adventures.  She advised me that I start taking fish oil, to combat the higher fat diet I may eat to compensate for avoiding some lower fat foods that they sneak gluten in.  I was also told to either incorporate more fiber, or use flax seed on foods.  I think the most healthy option is to cook at home.  And really it hasn't been that difficult (although the breakup with all those Delicious things)  Here is the latest,

I cooked two chicken breasts on Monday.  I used an Italian dressing for a marinade.  I just baked it at 350 checking ever so often to see if it was done.  I then cooked my rice with half chicken broth and water to boil in.  I then, boiled some water and chicken broth to cook some spinach. 

I am a new fan of spinach, it is great it salads, great cooked and I've even snuck it into eggs this week.  So far the fresh has kept much better than I had expected, I have bought the kind in the bag and have been pleased with it.  Cooking the spinach in chicken broth off set it's bite that cooked stuff normally has.  Overall the meal was filling, and hey Doc, low fat.

As for the job search, that's another story.  Any suggestions?

Denial is a guest at the house

Denial knocks quietly at the door. You don't quite hear it at first but you recognize his knock because he's been here before. Denial is a quite guy. He really doesn't ask for much, just not to be bothered. In fact he'll serve your needs quite well. The problem is, Denial often brings his friend Complacent.

Complacent is a dangerous one. He will sneak in your brain and he can make you feel self satisfied and won't let you aware of any danger that arises. Between Denial and Complacent you can't trust what they say, and the things you really want for yourself and home become distant dreams.

Complacent was with me at my work for five years. I knew that there was nothing good left for me at my job. The joy had been drained and sucked out. And truly, there have been a lot of other visitors in my house since. I guess it's part of the project. The downfall about the risk is that it was risky, but at the same time there was everything to gain.

Currently I am working to get Denial out of my mom's house. She has a multitude of Celiac symptoms. A laundry list for sure, and doesn't want to get tested. She has accepted that life has been like this and will be. Currently, I'm working to find out where these genes came from. Or maybe, like the teasing went from my parents because of my blue eyes and fair hair, they did pick me up in aisle three...right next to the gluten.

Intro

Wanting to be a glorified author as a child, I feel the need to write. Although, I don't think I would be very good at book signings, "how do you spell that again...". With all that being said, blogging is that resource out there and a good option.

Here's the story. I am twenty something, single and displaying behaviors what seems to be a "quarter life crisis". Recently my career, or job, took a toll for the quiting. However at this rate, my quarter life crisis will take me well past my centennial. I am also writing because like the millions out there, I have been recently diagnosis with Celiac's disease. Looking for mentors in this new life style change both with my job and new diet situation is like finding an extra five in your pocket, (it happens, but not often enough to rely on paying for your Starbucks addiction).

So, I feel obligated at this time to share "my story". I will try to leave out all the Elizabeth Hasselback'esqe I can muster. I always knew I was different. In some way, I was always a little odd. As I grew up I accepted my differences calling myself unique. Later, it became a struggle to get out. Laying on my couch in the daylight wondering when energy would overtake me seemed a little more than off.

I once asked my good friend Kim, who I carpooled with to my job, "Why do THEY keep making me go to that place everyday." I knew that it was a problem. Doubled over in pain sometimes I would lay close to the toilet praying for whatever was ailing me in my body would just fall out (although that would have been traumatic and then we would be blogging about disappearing body parts).

Like all projects, they have to become finished. I'm not saying that this will be a quick afternoon project, maybe a journey at the least. I am trying to figure out what I'm good at, who I am. And mostly, how to eat out in restaurants without feeling like a gluten-free freak. Or worse, a gluten-free hippie. Here's what I know today. Mary's gone crackers sticks and twigs taste just like it sounds, like sticks and twigs. I may have discovered that I am gluten intolerant, however I have not found my inner forager.

With all the resources out there, both on the Internet and with people, I hope that this journey can be the kind that no one asks, "ARE WE THERE YET?" So, I'll entertain people with some antics, and maybe they can learn some things too!